I generally go on a bit of a "life hiatus" when I have guests in my home. My parents are here, now for a week. The timing was impeccable as this morning I had the carcinoma on my lip excised. According to the doctor I look like Daisy Duck underneath the vast amount of bandagery that runs from mouth to nose. It's quite a look...such that I will forego picking my kids up today from school and taking them to gymnastics. I don't particularly enjoy scaring little children.
I've experienced an interesting lesson in all of this. I just haven't thought of this as much of a big deal, but I realized today, how truly blessed I am to experience life with the people I do...from my husband and kids, to friends, to my extended family. I don't like to ask much of others. But then, on the flip side, I try very hard to give appropriately when someone else is in need. In my Bible Study yesterday we discussed the principle of gleaning. In Leviticus, God (through Moses) lays down the rules for the Israelites when it comes to harvesting their crops. He makes specific instructions to the farmers to leave the edges of the field unplowed, so the widow, orphan and alien may come and partake.
There were two things about God that I noticed here. The first...God provides for us all, whether we are in a time of plenty or want. He gives us either just enough or abundance. Is one better than the other? I am inclined to say no. I believe that (according to my own experience) that in times of abundance, it is VERY easy to take our eyes off of God, his providence and perfect care. It is such a temptation to slip into the pattern of believing it's MY doing...which it isn't. At. All.
Secondly, personally, being the gleaner (the person doing the gleaning) is difficult moreso than being the farmer, providing. If I'm in a season of gleaning I must be willing to look honestly at my abilities, time, resources and surrender those to others. I wonder if this pride thing really keeps me from blessing others with the privilege of giving. I know how great I feel when I can do my little part in someone else's life...why can't I give that joy to another?
A few little tidbits for the day. I am still practicing my Eucharisteo...400 nearly. What a powerful practice. I am just awed each day by God's goodness and miracles. Yesterday, I saw a blue mailbox and it struck me as truly wonderful...we all see the blue mailboxes. Today, I noticed, in February, a woman had a striped summer bag. The old me would have thought, "My, isn't it a bit early for this fashion accessory?" But, no, I realized what a blessing it was to have bright, happy colors on a bare Colorado morning. My "soul holes", as I like to call them, are really filling up. I have desired this for so long...this peace that passes understanding.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Monday, February 7, 2011
Birds of the Air
I had the delightful privilege of running on Sunday morning. Overnight, an unexpected 4 inches of snow fell and I was able to get out before much digging had occurred. There is something remarkable about strapping on the running shoes and Yaktrax, not knowing what the experience may hold. To add to the unknown, I brought along Theo, my 11 month old Portuguese Water Dog. We had a time of it. I did my best to stay in the tire treads and not slip. Theo, being terrible on the leash kind of whipped me this way and that. Once he got tired, though, he stayed close.
God, through his perfect repetition, is teaching me a very important lesson. I am being constantly reminded of the passage beginning in Matthew 6:
"Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" Matthew 6:25-27
As I was leaving the neighborhood, I looked up and in the trees lining the road were robins...hundreds of them, feasting on the winter berries. I couldn't believe my eyes, the sheer magnitude of birds on this snowy, cold morning. No foliage in sight, except berries. All of the robins in Southwest Longmont must have been there at that moment. I was mesmerized and cheered beyond words. Not only were they colorful, but they were FAT! I love fat birds. Isn't that just amazing, that God would give the birds more than enough?
Theo and I continued our interesting gait over to the reservoir about a mile and a half away. We "ran" to the entrance and looked out on the ice and noticed three coyotes traversing the expanse. It was miraculous, to say the least. Their coats weren't ratty, they were not starving, they were obviously well fed and nourished. I was so grateful for that moment, to see these beautiful creatures being cared for perfectly by our heavenly Father.
So, if God takes abundant care of coyotes and robins, why do I spend so much mental energy in worry? It not only gets me nowhere, but quite possibly may send me backwards. I exhaust myself by running this scenario and that possibility, instead of resting at the feet of my shepherd. When it's time to move, He will lead, He will let me know.
In our book study, "Scouting the Divine", by Margaret Feinberg, she says,
"For the sheep that always wanders off - and leads other sheep astray in the process - a shepherd my resort to breaking a leg of the sheep. Then the shepherd would hand feed the sheep and carry it until the bone mended, hopefully curing it of its desire to wander."
This is God's perfect, loving discipline. He will maim me at times, in order to get me to seek Him fully, instead of the addictions I've maintained or the "half assed" attempts at happiness I find myself pursuing. No! He loves me that much that he would rather carry me around, holding me, allowing me to heal. I am so humbled by this thought. He would rather do all the work and injure me, so that my whole being will trust him alone. Amazing.
God, through his perfect repetition, is teaching me a very important lesson. I am being constantly reminded of the passage beginning in Matthew 6:
"Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" Matthew 6:25-27
As I was leaving the neighborhood, I looked up and in the trees lining the road were robins...hundreds of them, feasting on the winter berries. I couldn't believe my eyes, the sheer magnitude of birds on this snowy, cold morning. No foliage in sight, except berries. All of the robins in Southwest Longmont must have been there at that moment. I was mesmerized and cheered beyond words. Not only were they colorful, but they were FAT! I love fat birds. Isn't that just amazing, that God would give the birds more than enough?
Theo and I continued our interesting gait over to the reservoir about a mile and a half away. We "ran" to the entrance and looked out on the ice and noticed three coyotes traversing the expanse. It was miraculous, to say the least. Their coats weren't ratty, they were not starving, they were obviously well fed and nourished. I was so grateful for that moment, to see these beautiful creatures being cared for perfectly by our heavenly Father.
So, if God takes abundant care of coyotes and robins, why do I spend so much mental energy in worry? It not only gets me nowhere, but quite possibly may send me backwards. I exhaust myself by running this scenario and that possibility, instead of resting at the feet of my shepherd. When it's time to move, He will lead, He will let me know.
In our book study, "Scouting the Divine", by Margaret Feinberg, she says,
"For the sheep that always wanders off - and leads other sheep astray in the process - a shepherd my resort to breaking a leg of the sheep. Then the shepherd would hand feed the sheep and carry it until the bone mended, hopefully curing it of its desire to wander."
This is God's perfect, loving discipline. He will maim me at times, in order to get me to seek Him fully, instead of the addictions I've maintained or the "half assed" attempts at happiness I find myself pursuing. No! He loves me that much that he would rather carry me around, holding me, allowing me to heal. I am so humbled by this thought. He would rather do all the work and injure me, so that my whole being will trust him alone. Amazing.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Thoughts on a Snow Day
Things are plugging along around here. We have had two snow days, so the kids have been home. The first was easy going and quiet, the second, I've put them to work and made them complete tasks for school, clean rooms, practice, etc. Not much fun for them, but I'm sure they will be fine.
My husband and I have had some interesting discussions surrounding the situation we find ourselves in. His businesses are really struggling and we just don't have any clear sense of direction of what to do or where to go. I can say, I have maintained a real peaceful existence and he is doing the same. I feel for him, how hard to not know what to do...close the doors, keep chugging along, etc. It is such a nebulous place. So, we are doing our best to be prayerful, peace-filled, surrendered and joyful. Some days are easier than others, but I am so grateful that he and I are doing better than ever.
In my Bible reading this morning, I re-visited Proverbs 3. My favorite verses are 5-6 which I clung to during my Ironman training: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him and he will make your paths straight."
A little further down in the same chapter it says, "My son (daughter), do not despise the Lord's discipline, and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in." In Hebrews, it says that in any difficulty or hardship we face, consider it discipline. It finally hit me, that we are being disciplined, and I don't want it to sound like it's a bad thing. Of course it's not comfortable, nor do I particularly desire it. But looking back over the past 2-3 weeks, I have been more joyful and peaceful than ever before in my life.
So, maybe instead of looking at God's correction negatively,I should realize that it is in these times, that he draws me ever closer to him. He extends grace into my heart, mind and soul that is only from him. He provides the strength, power and perspective to propel me along, despite me inability to see the path ahead...hence the need to trust him with all my heart and not lean on my own understanding (because I have none).
I am praying for some clarity. I would like to have something to do that will get us moving down whatever path we need to go down. But, I do know that his timing is perfect so, I will do my best to trust patiently...offering thanks.
Thank you Lord for the snow blanketing the mountains; the washing machine doing the job I don't have to do; happy kids in a warm house; new opportunities and adventures; full pantry and refrigerator.
My husband and I have had some interesting discussions surrounding the situation we find ourselves in. His businesses are really struggling and we just don't have any clear sense of direction of what to do or where to go. I can say, I have maintained a real peaceful existence and he is doing the same. I feel for him, how hard to not know what to do...close the doors, keep chugging along, etc. It is such a nebulous place. So, we are doing our best to be prayerful, peace-filled, surrendered and joyful. Some days are easier than others, but I am so grateful that he and I are doing better than ever.
In my Bible reading this morning, I re-visited Proverbs 3. My favorite verses are 5-6 which I clung to during my Ironman training: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him and he will make your paths straight."
A little further down in the same chapter it says, "My son (daughter), do not despise the Lord's discipline, and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in." In Hebrews, it says that in any difficulty or hardship we face, consider it discipline. It finally hit me, that we are being disciplined, and I don't want it to sound like it's a bad thing. Of course it's not comfortable, nor do I particularly desire it. But looking back over the past 2-3 weeks, I have been more joyful and peaceful than ever before in my life.
So, maybe instead of looking at God's correction negatively,I should realize that it is in these times, that he draws me ever closer to him. He extends grace into my heart, mind and soul that is only from him. He provides the strength, power and perspective to propel me along, despite me inability to see the path ahead...hence the need to trust him with all my heart and not lean on my own understanding (because I have none).
I am praying for some clarity. I would like to have something to do that will get us moving down whatever path we need to go down. But, I do know that his timing is perfect so, I will do my best to trust patiently...offering thanks.
Thank you Lord for the snow blanketing the mountains; the washing machine doing the job I don't have to do; happy kids in a warm house; new opportunities and adventures; full pantry and refrigerator.
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