I Quit My Bible Study

I have attended the same Bible Study group now for the past 5 years. I loved the intensity of digging into Scripture, coming up with new and applicable insights then applying this new truth to my life. Last year I started...we were studying John...and I couldn't keep going. With the IM training, I knew that Wednesday morning would need to be a training day. So I quit with the intention and belief that I would return the following year. In September, I firmly believed I needed to study Isaiah. I was quickly made uncomfortable (not ever having studied Isaiah in the past) by the judgement, condemnation and wrath on God's part. I couldn't/can't figure out how to reconcile this loving, gracious God with his wrath and revenge. I am secure enough in my faith to know that it is okay to question these things without fear.

I managed to stick it out for about two months and quit yesterday. During my time there was much comparison of the judgment on Israel, because of their waywardness, to the waywardness of modern day society. My issue is that we cannot make these extrapolations to modern day America. Americans are not God's chosen people. I heard a lot about how we were founded as a nation on God's principles and we've strayed from what our founding fathers intended (read God) for us. Therefore, we can look at the moral failings of our nation and expect God's wrath upon us, if it isn't already here. What a load of crap!! In my opinion, if anyone needs to fear, it's the Church. The Church/Christians are God's New Israel. If as Christians we would point the finger at ourselves rather than others...wouldn't the Church looks a whole lot different? My point is, when discussing God's judgement and wrath equal parts (if not more) need to be devoted to his grace and mercy because of what Jesus did on the cross for us.

Today, after quitting, I'm unsure if I did the right thing. Part of me is feeling a great sense of relief!!! However, I'm wondering...should I have just stuck it out, dealt with it? I feel poisonous. Every person I talk to about this I can't help but get riled up. Frankly, I'm plain angry. I am angered by the the amount of legalism that crops back up in me. I am angered by the fact that freedom in Christ is not spoken (well, maybe it was, I just missed the month of November). If we are making correlations from the judgement of God on Israel to modern day America, shouldn't we have some discussion of the amazing grace of God and mercy shown through Jesus?

I've been reading Galations. It's fascinating where Paul takes on the church in Galatia asking them who is causing them to turn back to the Law and to the old feasts and celebrations. He becomes livid about the situation and wants these false teachers to go and emasculate themselves. Yikes. Sometimes, I feel really out of place in my faith as a believer in Jesus Christ. I think the Church, as a whole, has lost its ability to be relevant because we want so badly to hang onto our rules. Somehow these make us right, instead of the love and grace of God through Jesus Christ.

I am in a place now of desiring Freedom. What does it truly look like to be Free in Christ? What would it look like if Christ followers shed the rules of religion and focused on two things: Loving God and Loving Others. What would our world look like?